


It's Not About Us

by ribbonelle



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Fraternization, M/M, Sticky Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-10-18 22:42:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10626651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribbonelle/pseuds/ribbonelle
Summary: They were together. And now they were not. One could not simply erase the past, even if one really wanted to.





	1. its been a while and i was really into you, that's all it is

**Author's Note:**

> hello! hehe been a while, but don't doubt my long-lasting adoration for these two. this is a fic i've been wanting to write for a loooong, long time, because i mean. all fanfic writers who write skystar probably Need to write a fraternization fic, right? no? well i'm doing it anyways. 
> 
> its a two-parter! its just all tame here, i promise. as in, angst-wise, because its gonna be pretty angsty but mostly just, well. starscream being starscream. this is just a casual, sticky, kinda salty fic about things that could have been. i didn't rly edit this too well so sorry if its not too great!

Starscream didn’t even entertain the notion that the Autobot signal he had tracked down would be someone significant, not even for a second. He had noticed the hostile energy signature mid-flight, and while it was annoying that he was disturbed during one of his breaks, Starscream felt like he could go for a good round of messing with a groundpounder right about now. He hoped it was someone dumb and shouty, like Cliffjumper. Or that Earth-loving scrapheap, Hound. Whoever who was good enough to shoot.

He hadn’t even considered that the energy signature was not as unfamiliar as he thought. He was 5 kliks away when he realized that he could identify who it was, zooming in on the shaking of the forest trees, the Autobot lumbering through it like a monster. He barely didn’t notice the white wingtips sticking out from the green landscape.

Skyfire.  
  
It had been a while since Skyfire. The last time they met had been in battle, as they always have after the disaster of Skyfire’s revival. Starscream didn’t even remember actually seeing Skyfire on the battlefield aside from only vaguely noticing that Skyfire had a blaster in his hands and was shooting at some unfortunate soldier of his. Starscream didn’t quite consider him a threat. Skyfire had gotten immensely better at holding a blaster, and his aim had improved, and the wild look of confusion and battle-chaos in his optics had lessened somewhat, but Starscream didn’t consider him a real threat. Starscream wasn’t intimidated by many Autobots, but especially not Skyfire. Skyfire was a scientist who mapped out known galaxies and spent countless hours observing fractals of alien minerals. He knew Skyfire.

The logical thing to do was to turn around, and head back to base. Or fly a few more laps somewhere else, far away from this particular Autobot. Skyfire wasn’t a threat, and Starscream had no interest in antagonizing Skyfire either. It wouldn’t be fun. It would just be sad.

Starscream should definitely leave. There was nothing for him here.

He found himself activating his transformation sequence anyway, changing into his bipedal form as he landed in the forest, near enough to Skyfire that the shuttle turned around when he touched down, wearing an expression of surprise. Skyfire looked comical this way. His consequent frown wasn’t so funny.  
  
“Starscream? What are you doing here?”

Sneering felt like reflex, how quickly Starscream did it, “Could ask you the same thing, Skyfire. What are you now, Autobot errand mech? Seems fitting enough for a traitor like you.”

Skyfire frowned, and Starscream couldn’t say it looked familiar on Skyfire’s faceplates, “Traitor to a cause I never signed up for. Listen, I don’t want to fight you, or whatever it is you do now with Autobots you find, Starscream. Just leave me be.”

“You’re not even worth fighting!” Starscream said hotly, because he hated the way Skyfire was looking at him, “You’re probably just here to explore Earth’s natural fauna or some unnecessary slag like that.”

“That’s…” Skyfire trailed off, before shrugging, “That’s not wrong, actually.”

Starscream made a face, because of course Skyfire would be doing that in a time of war. Of course _Skyfire_ would. Skyfire did not seem to have a blaster on him, but it could have been easily stowed away in a subspace. It was…odd to face an Autobot without having anything aimed at him. He should take this as an advantage. Bring the Autobot shuttle in as a hostage, or kill him, but.

“They didn’t even assign you a research partner or anything? Pitiful.”

“Well, it’s not as if I am on a true project. I’m just…” Skyfire paused, and sighed, “I suppose I’m just taking a walk on my own. Are you planning on leaving or are you just going to ruin my plans for the day by shooting me or something?”

Starscream flared his wings in indignation and scowled, because Skyfire was _rude_. He could shoot Skyfire if he wanted to! It was irritating how Skyfire seemed to have forgotten that Starscream himself _was_ a threat. He chewed at the inner lining of his oral intake, and tried to convince himself to leave one more time.

He folded his arms instead, standing his ground, “You leave if you want! I don’t make shooting mechanisms in the back a habit of mine, Autobot. I have a little more honor, unlike you.”

Skyfire rolled his optics; how dare he; but turned around and walked on, continuing his trek through the forest. He was but a white figure in the midst of all the green and brown of trees, and he was disappearing by the second. Starscream watched him walk away, and thought about finally transforming and leaving the area.

He didn’t do that either. Couldn’t seem to bring himself to. He started walking, though, slowly enough that Skyfire didn’t truly leave his sight. He asked, because he couldn’t stop himself, “What are you looking for anyway?”

Skyfire glanced back at him only a little, Starscream couldn’t get a read on his face, “Nothing of importance. Just a place I wanted to explore.”

Vague, and unsatisfying. He told Skyfire so. Skyfire just shrugged again, and Starscream found himself hating that gesture; Skyfire probably learned it from one of those annoying sparktwins who liked to lunge for his Seekers like savages. He followed Skyfire still, trying to figure out where the shuttle was headed.

Walking behind Skyfire this way felt nostalgic. His gait had not changed one bit. If there weren’t any trees around, Starscream would have thought that they were back in Cybertron, millennia ago. A foolish memory to entertain.

They ended up reaching a hill of sorts, standing before the mouth of a small cave in it. Skyfire stepped inside and touched the walls of the cave, and this was familiar, too. Skyfire being curious.

“What are you hoping to find in here,” Starscream said, wondering if they had appointed Skyfire to search for a new Autobot base or something of the like, “There’s no energon here.”

“True. But I’ve never set foot in a formation like this on Earth before. At least, not one made out of stone. There might be things worth discovering inside.”

Starscream’s mouth twisted, but it wasn’t like Skyfire was telling a lie. It was true, as far as Starscream knew. He scoffed aloud, “We’re in the middle of a war and you’re out here trying to play xenobiologist?”

Skyfire turned to him. He looked resigned, “Look, Starscream. I didn’t call you here, so if you don’t have any business with me then I kindly ask you to leave.”

“I’ll do what I want,” Starscream bared his dentae at the shuttle, and Skyfire sighed, like he was tired of the world. He didn’t say anything else, just returned his attentions to the cave and entered it altogether. Starscream considered his options. It didn’t seem like the cave was that deep at all. Probably just home to some local lifeform, and nothing more. But Skyfire looked like he was being swallowed by the darkness of the cave and Starscream found himself stepping forward, needing to make sure that Skyfire was still there. An unnecessary need, but one that made him follow inside nevertheless.

Skyfire had a finger running through some moss on the stone wall, and then rubbed the tips of his fingers together after, examining the texture. “Fascinating,” Starscream heard him say quietly, and there was—something about his curiosity. Something about his tone.

“I’m no expert,” Starscream said, almost as quietly, “But I think there’s nothing more to this cave if you go in deeper. It’s all stone. Maybe you’d find a snake or two, but that’d be about it.” Skyfire looked at him, and he tried his best not to return the shuttle’s gaze, focusing instead on the murky darkness beyond them, “Caves have a running stream in them sometimes, and it’d usually lead to an inner lake. Some caves have Earth minerals in them, the humans mine the caves and extract it. Some caves have energon.”

He didn’t quite expect Skyfire to smile, and he was a little speechless when Skyfire’s optics went dim, a gentle aquamarine. “You’ve done your share of exploring too, huh?”

Starscream made a dismissive noise, “I’ve been here too long. What I’m saying is that there’s nothing remarkable about this cave. You’re free to go in deeper to check, like I said, I’m no expert, but from a first glance it doesn’t seem like you’ll find anything worth remembering.”

“Perhaps,” Skyfire seemed thoughtful, “Well, I’m still curious. Would you like to join me?”

It was a friendly invitation, or it sounded like one, and they were not friends. They might have been, but they were enemies now, fighting for opposite sides in a war. Starscream should not agree. He was a high-ranking Decepticon officer, there should have been no doubt from him.

And yet.

He said nothing, simply striding into the cave, looking around like he owned the place. Skyfire followed closely behind; somehow their proximity felt like a tangible thing against Starscream’s plating, but he paid the shuttle no mind.

Starscream had been right, the cave was not deep enough for anything interesting, simply coming to a stop a little a ways inside. Starscream turned around and folded his arms, smirking a little, “See? What did I tell you? There’s nothing here.”

Skyfire was still looking around, as if there was something to be found. He kept running his hand over the stone walls of the cave, and—well. He looked like they were on an exploration from Cybertron. It was slightly relieving to know that he had not lost that look on his face. Skyfire smiled at Starscream, “You were right. But it’s interesting how such a formation can occur in a structure like this, isn’t it? All by natural means too. Earth’s geological processes are fascinating.”

“Are you going to write a paper about it later or something? Send it in and get rejected like always?”

He didn’t know why he was bringing up the past. He didn’t know why Skyfire laughed aloud at that still, like they have never stopped bickering this way. “Yes, most likely. It’d be approved till the very last second, probably by the Ethics Committee representative, just because I forgot to add in a sentence as a disclaimer or something as dumb.”

“Ew, Tapwire,” Starscream made a face at the mention of the common enemy of Academy students, “Primus, he would. Why do you even keep on writing those papers, they never make it easy for you?”

Skyfire shrugged, but Starscream didn’t really hate the gesture now, “Well, it’s worth a try. Some of my submissions are accepted. Plus, you always read them, so that’s something.”

It felt too quiet, after that. Skyfire wasn’t lying; Starscream did demand to read everything he had written. They had discussions over it. Debates. Sometimes Starscream quoted some of his lines from the acknowledgement section of one of his papers, just to antagonize Skyfire.

It had been a while, but Starscream remembered what desire felt like. Especially this type of need rising inside him, warming up his insides, and it used to be so easy. He could just reach for Skyfire, touch him in a particular way, and—

But it wasn’t like that anymore.

Starscream should leave.

“Starscream,” Skyfire said, and his tone was different enough that Starscream had to steel himself, wings flicking up in defense.

“Skyfire,” he said in return, voice as firm as he could make it, “The Academy’s gone forever now. You can’t submit anything of yours ever again.”

“I know,” Skyfire’s own tone was sad and quiet, and Starscream couldn’t look away when Skyfire held his gaze, “But you’d read my papers still, won’t you?”

His arms were still folded, but it felt like Starscream was just holding himself together rather than anything else. He still couldn’t look away, “Yeah. You actually knew what you were talking about. They were idiots, not accepting your work, because really, you were…Skyfire. What are you doing.”

The question was unnecessary, because he knew, he knew what was going to happen when Skyfire stepped forward and put his hands on Starscream’s shoulders, knew what was about to happen when Skyfire leaned forward. He knew, and he tilted his head and offlined his optics to welcome Skyfire’s kiss.  
  
He had been kissed before—especially by Skyfire— but this felt liberating. It felt terribly wonderful, too good to be true. He curled his fists and forced himself to stay still when Skyfire leaned back.  
  
“That was a bad idea,” Starscream said, but let Skyfire cup his face with both hands anyway, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I probably shouldn’t have,” Skyfire said, and didn’t sound the slightest bit regretful, “I might do it again.”

Starscream reached up to put his hands over Skyfire’s on his face, and he might have intended to pull them away. He did no such thing, aside from scowl, “Must you always make things difficult for me?”

He didn’t give Skyfire time to answer, surging on his pedes to kiss Skyfire again, harsher this time, and Skyfire moaned against his lips like he had been given something precious. There was no use fighting it anymore, Starscream reasoned. He didn’t want to fight it anymore. Skyfire wrapped his arms around Starscream and suddenly Starscream’s knee joints went weak, and he clung to Skyfire for support. The kisses didn’t help; Skyfire was kissing him like a starving mech and he was sustenance, but it’d be a lie if he said he wasn’t acting the same. He felt like he had been deprived of something vital, and Skyfire was finally giving him what he needed.

Skyfire moved his mouth to Starscream’s neck and Starscream slipped his fingers into the slats of Skyfire’s vents, and they both shuddered heavily against each other. Starscream felt as if he should have more control of the situation, but he was quickly spiraling into what seemed like mindlessness, lost in Skyfire’s touch. (He wanted it. He welcomed it.)

He exvented harshly when Skyfire bit him, just sinking in his dentae enough for it to sting, and Starscream tried to say something but only ended up choking back moans. “Sky,” he managed eventually, tugging at Skyfire, “Just—“

Somehow that led to Starscream pushing Skyfire against the cave wall, and Skyfire pulling Starscream down to sit. Starscream slipped into Skyfire’s lap without ceasing contact, and it felt too natural. Too familiar. Skyfire had his hands all over Starscream’s back and wings, and Starscream couldn’t help it, he arched into Skyfire’s touch with abandon.

Blindly reaching in between them, Starscream scraped his palm over Skyfire’s pelvic plating. Skyfire caught his wrist and pressed it against himself harder, just as lost as Starscream was.

“Starscream,” Skyfire panted, rolling his hips up, messing with Starscream’s wing joints in such a way that Starscream couldn’t stop squirming, “Do you still love me?”

“What?” His mind was addled with arousal and pleasure, but he leaned back to look at Skyfire, "Huh?"  
  
"Do you still love me?"

"Skyfire, I don't think I even truly know you anymore. And you dont—you don’t really know me," Starscream said, but Skyfire's hand in between them was teasing at the seams of his cover and words were quickly failing him. It slid open and Skyfire pushed a finger into his valve, and Starscream's hands shot up to hold Skyfire's face, making the shuttle look at him.

Skyfire did not stop; he swirled his digit around once, then slipped out of Starscream just to bring it to his face, closing his lip components around it. Starscream felt like he was burning, with what he wasn’t sure, "I'm so different now, Skyfire."

Skyfire’s smile was wobbly and too full of affection to be right, "Then why do you taste exactly the same?" 

Starscream groaned; pushed Skyfire away a little only to surge forward and kiss him on the mouth right after, like he couldn’t stand being away for too long. It was a mess of motion and limbs and mouths, Starscream wouldn’t even try to acknowledge the noise he made when Skyfire finally extended into his hand. It was weird to profoundly miss a specific shape and weight in his hand, but Starscream missed Skyfire’s spike so dearly, he was surprised by it.

Need overwhelmed the both of them, and Skyfire was inside Starscream as soon as they were able to move themselves long enough without kissing, and Starscream’s head fell back with a little sigh. Skyfire made an equally breathy noise, and held Starscream close, pressing his lip components to a spot under Starscream’s jaw.

“Ah, you—“Starscream’s vocalizer clicked, and he wrapped his arms around Skyfire’s neck, touching their foreheads together, “You still know how to use that?”

Skyfire laughed, airily enough that Starscream had to look at him, but couldn’t quite bring himself to frown. He felt so good, Skyfire felt so good inside him he could only focus on the feeling of being stretched around Skyfire. Skyfire rolled his hips up once and Starscream’s optics flicker before going offline. “I don’t know, you tell me,” Skyfire murmured, and laughed again at how Starscream’s mouth twisted. “Missed you.”

“I’m the one who’s been waiting for millions of stellar cycles, you know, so,” Starscream arched his back, and leaned down to put his head onto Skyfire’s shoulder, “Give it to me.”

A hand settled on his head; just Skyfire gently holding him, and even when Skyfire picked up the pace and gave it to him like he asked, Starscream felt loved.

/

He was smiling, and it was probably a ridiculous smile, but he couldn’t help himself. Starscream tried to hide his expression with a hand, looking to the side away from Skyfire. Skyfire took it as a chance to lean down and nuzzle at Starscream’s neck anyway, close enough for a kiss that Starscream had to give him one.

Everything felt good. He was sated and wonderfully sore, and it was Skyfire who was holding him this close, and it just—it felt good. It had been too long since this, and he could afford to not think about anything else. For the time being.

Skyfire’s smile made his spark twinge when their kiss broke, and he might not still be in love, but he didn’t think he felt as much affection for anyone else as he did for Skyfire.

“I want to do this forever,” Skyfire said, contentment made his voice deep and lovely, “Don’t you want that too?”

Unfortunately, Starscream never got into the habit of entertaining overly romantic notions like Skyfire did, “Well, forever doesn’t make sense. This is…nice, though.”

Skyfire scoffed, but ran his fingers along the tips of Starscream’s wings, and it felt too good for Starscream to be too offended. He didn’t indulge in romantic notions, but— “In a hypothetical future where I’m Emperor or king,” he said, leaning back into Skyfire’s touch a little, “Would you be with me?”

The question made Skyfire raise an orbital ridge, and he seemed to ponder it only for a few seconds before answering, “Don’t think so.”

Starscream’s mouth twisted, “Well, that’s stupid. Why not?”

“To be with you as a partner, or a consort even, if you’re somehow leader of Cybertron? You know I’ve no interest in politics. And you’re dear to me, but Primus knows that power ruins you. And you want it to for some reason? I don’t know Star, but I don’t want to sit by you and see you destroy yourself.”

He was displeased, but it wasn’t like Starscream had no idea of Skyfire’s thoughts. It hadn’t really changed, even with the raging war. Skyfire was still holding him close. He scowled anyway, because while Skyfire’s answer was expected, it didn’t mean he was alright with it. Skyfire used his free hand to tilt Starscream’s face up anyway, making the Seeker look at him.

“What if you _don’t_ get into politics, and we can be the way we were. I like to think that we were happy with our travels and our research. We loved that life.” 

Skyfire wasn’t wrong. Starscream had loved that life. But things have changed and there was no use thinking too deeply of the past.

“Well, it’s too late for that. The war will be over eventually, someway somehow. I’ll be either executed for war crimes , or the Decepticons would win and I’d still probably be killed. Megatron won’t need me around anymore.”

It was Skyfire’s turn to look angry, “What the frag kind of life are you living, Starscream?”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not as if I didn’t know what I was getting into. Well, to a degree.” He reached for Skyfire’s face and tried to smooth away the anger in Skyfire's features with his thumbs, “It’s just how it is. I’ll either win or I die. It’s fine.”

Skyfire leaned against his hands, looking too concerned, “What if we just leave?”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just go, ditch this whole thing. Let’s just leave and start over. Space is so vast, Starscream, we could just keep going and leave all this behind us.”

He tried to imagine it. Just flying away with Skyfire into the darkness of space, to places unknown, and never look back. Megatron might send someone to bring him back, or kill him, or both, but. It’d be temporary respite. With Skyfire, at that, who was…very important to Starscream.

But.

He laughed a little, and shook his head. Patted Skyfire’s cheek, and kissed him on the forehead, before leaning back to have some distance between them, “I don’t think so. I do actually believe in the Decepticon cause, Sky, even if I don’t truly believe in Megatron anymore. I’ve fought too hard and for too long. Win or die, I won’t accept any other option.”

Of course Skyfire looked disappointed. Starscream told himself that he didn’t care. To run away with Skyfire and spend the rest of his days thinking about what could have been if he had stayed till the very end of the war…he would not allow himself to have those kind of regrets. He’d get his glory, either way.

Skyfire seemed upset, but he still had not let go of Starscream, and somehow that was the only thing that mattered right now. “Wish I had not crashed here,” Skyfire said quietly anyway, “I wish that we’d have just…gone on with our previous lives. Graduated. If we would have just never parted.”

“Well. This is how things are. I miss you, and this, but really, Skyfire. I have no desire of returning to that life. In comparison, it sounds so dull.” Skyfire seemed surprised, and Starscream shrugged, adopting that gesture Skyfire did so often earlier, “Either live with it, or reject it, that’s your choice. Just having this encounter with you is enough for me.”

“Really.”

“Really. I don’t know what you truly want, but I don’t think I can give it to you. I don’t think you can make it happen, either. There’s no turning back for me. And I don’t mind it. So,” Starscream pulled himself out of Skyfire’s lap onto the cave floor, not unkindly, “Your choice.”

Skyfire’s hands dropped to his lap, and he curled them, just watching Starscream for a while. Starscream could understand. There was an uneasy roiling feeling in his spark, but he had meant what he said. He had lived too long without Skyfire; he could do it again. He could act like Skyfire had never been in his life, ever. He had been through too much to not be able to.

“I…” Skyfire started, exhaled, and said with resignation, “I still love you.”

“Thank you,” Starscream ignored how violently his spark flared because of the words, ignored how happy he felt, “You shouldn’t. But thank you.”

“Just one more kiss,” Skyfire said; there was a desperation in his optics that Starscream had never seen before. He thought he had seen everything when it came to Skyfire, but it seemed like he was wrong, “Let me kiss you one more time, at least?”

Starscream exvented, and smiled a little despite himself. “Of course.”

Skyfire leaned forward and gathered Starscream in his arms again, and kissed him like a dying mech, and maybe—maybe it really was enough.


	2. it's just a sex thing. it's definitely Just A Sex Thing. ignore what i said before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comes in late with...starbucks. this is too indulgent. i apologize  
> but honestly like, this is so unnecessary, but starscream is Full of Drama. gotta have some drama in his life. fuckin, turn into a shakespeare play basically.   
> also i definitely don't write skyfire as often as i should so sorry if OOC! tell me if he is, too. i would like to know  
> writing this felt weird. i've been in a block. but aaaaa
> 
> classic fraternization fic makes me so happy tho idk, its indulgent as heck. i had to try, at least before i die

Skyfire hadn’t really meant to turn the small cave he found into anything important, when he first decided to explore the area. But it had proved to be just big enough for comfort, and was just the right distance away from either an Autobot or a Decepticon base and…Well. He had held Starscream in his arms again in this very cave, and somehow he found it extremely difficult to just leave.

So he made himself a little hideout of sorts and told no one about it. He didn’t exactly furnish the cave, but he did put some of his belongings in it; a portable berth, a few chairs, a workspace. Nothing too major; he had intended to make it a place of escape, where he could just be away from everyone and be alone. Away from the war.

While the idea of Starscream returning to this cave for him was very appealing, he didn’t quite hope for it, because Starscream had left him for good and Starscream’s words had seemed final. Things were over between them. It hurt, as did everything after he was brought out from the ice, but Skyfire knew that it was a fight he couldn't win. Not yet, not now. The war was raging. He had silently made his peace with how things were.

Thus, he was _very_ surprised when he entered his cave one day to find Starscream in it, looking around the area with a very curious expression on his faceplates. He thought it a dream at first. Or a trap. But Starscream turned around and looked at him with incredulity in those optics, and Skyfire realized that it didn’t even really matter. It had been two Earth months since they last met.

“Are you living here now?”

“Ah,” Skyfire said, stepping inside and tried not to stare too hard at his former partner, “Not really. This is just a place I come to be by myself at times. What are you doing here?”

It had been a while since Skyfire had needed to read Starscream’s face, but he was pleasantly reminded that he still had that ability, no matter the time that has passed. Starscream tried not to show it, but his wings tilted just so, and he held his head higher, “To see if you told the Autobots about this place to use it for Primus-knows-what. That isn’t entirely untrue.”

Skyfire raised an optic ridge at Starscream, and tried not to smile at his responding huff, “No one else knows about this place besides you.”

"I didn't think Autobots had so much free time."

"It's just me, most likely," Skyfire shrugged, and silently relished how Starscream's optics narrowed; he knew Starscream hated the gesture, "I like to have my own space from time to time, if you recall."

Starscream's face changed, and he wondered if this was Starscream's Decepticon Commander look, "Skyfire. I'd appreciate it if you don't bring up our past anymore. It just complicates things."

Complicated things. As if everything wasn’t an absolute mess already, “Hm. Alright, whatever you say.”

There were a million things _Skyfire_ wanted to say, but he honestly had not expected Starscream to return here at all. He would have, once upon a time. He thought the war had changed Starscream too much. He might have been wrong.

He couldn’t stop taking the sight of Starscream in, however. Ridiculous, considering how close they were on Cybertron. He felt entirely like a mech with a new lover, unable to think of anything else once they were in the same space, memories of their last encounter playing on a loop in his processor. And—he could tell that Starscream was experiencing the same thing. Starscream’s optics kept recalibrating as he looked at Skyfire, and there were only select situations where that happened. When he was aroused, or when he was taking in new information, and honestly both of those circumstances would be in Skyfire’s favor.

Skyfire found himself taking a step forward the moment Starscream did, and they just didn’t stop till they were close enough to touch. Starscream almost seemed wary but he had reached up anyway, to meet Skyfire in a kiss.

It was easy, familiar. Like coming home, like lovers reuniting after a brief period spent away from each other. How did Skyfire ever think that he could live without this?

“You need to understand something,” Starscream said after the kiss, even as their fronts scraped together, with his arms now wound around Skyfire’s neck, “This isn’t about us, Skyfire. I don’t feel anything for you. But I do miss your body, and that’s all this is.”

Skyfire pulled him closer; Starscream arched against Skyfire even more, and arguing with Starscream didn’t seem worth it at all. He was tired of trying to reason with Starscream, when he could be doing something less frustrating, “Nothing between us, got it.” He leaned to kiss Starscream’s mouth again, and Starscream melted into it, before loosely grabbing at Skyfire’s face, pulling him away. Skyfire persisted, kissing his jaw and neck instead.

“I mean it. You’re a good frag, and we’re already here, so—“Starscream’s words were cut off with a hitch in ventilation, Skyfire had a thigh in between his legs and was pushing it steadily upwards, “So that’s…” He looked suspicious, and Skyfire couldn’t blame him. Things had been different last time. They did not want the same thing. Skyfire had reconsidered.

“Okay, Starscream. I know,” Skyfire said, and he did. He did know. (He was still full of love, unable to truly dismiss his memories of Starscream, and how familiar Starscream felt in his arms, even as he spouted things that he hadn’t ever before, but. If denying that was what he needed to do for Starscream to allow him this closeness again, then Skyfire would comply.) He dragged his lip components up Starscream’s neck and whispered into his audial, “I don’t know you. But I like what you do to me. I really would like to have you, too, any way you’re willing.”

Starscream's shuddering was so endearing, somehow, "I, uh. I..." his hands on Skyfire's face dropped to Skyfire's shoulders, curling into fists, "You can have me. For a while."

"Enough for me." It was Starscream who dragged him close for a kiss this time, and moaned against his mouth when Skyfire pushed his leg up even more. Funny, considering their circumstances, but Skyfire felt that Starscream have been looking forward to meeting him here again. A narcissistic thought, but with the way Starscream was riding his thigh, Skyfire can't bring himself to feel ashamed.

Starscream kissed the way he always had, and Skyfire hummed in gratitude for it. Despite Starscream's words, despite the agreement they've come upon, Starscream was still familiar. Skyfire wondered if Starscream would try to change that if he knew. 

His panel slid back and his spike pressurized, making him groan helplessly as Skyfire pressed his own thigh hard against Starscream. He looked beautiful like this. It was wishful thinking, but perhaps the war hadn’t changed Starscream completely, despite Starscream’s insistence that he was different now.

"No, don't—" Starscream pushed Skyfire’s face to the side, gently, "Don't look at me like that."

His emotions had always showed on his face, Starscream was well aware. And Skyfire wasn’t one who put great effort into pretending he felt nothing, unlike some mechanisms. He tilted his head and bit Starscream on the chin as retribution, and Starscream hissed, but only held him tighter. It might not be an apology, but Skyfire was going to take it as one. 

Starscream was in his arms, holding him like a lover, and Skyfire tried to accept that as what it was. Wasn’t hard, since Starscream was gasping and grasping at him.

“It’s okay,” he found himself whispering against Starscream’s jaw anyway, in a tone he hoped was comforting, “Just you and me right now. For a while, like you said. Don’t think about it.”

Starscream went stiff, like he was physically trying to go against Skyfire’s words. Skyfire waited patiently, lip components still on Starscream, the heat on his thigh plating probably enough to melt metal. “Just for a while,” he reiterated, because it was true. This was temporary; he was acutely aware. But it was better than nothing.

The way Starscream’s frame slowly went lax was a sweet surrender, one Skyfire was only fortunate enough to experience a few times. It was intoxicating. It felt profound. He didn’t Starscream would still give himself to Skyfire this way. Perhaps Starscream hadn’t changed at all.

It was almost too much.

Starscream wordlessly slipped a hand in between their frames and scraped his digits against Skyfire’s panel, a query. He never was able to ignore Starscream, responding immediately. Then it was just fingers around him, firm and perfect, and Skyfire kept himself from saying anything by biting down on his lip component, lest Starscream put a stop to this entirely.

Starscream pressed his open mouth to Skyfire’s neck cables and stayed there, too, like he didn’t want to accidentally say something either. It was ridiculous. Skyfire felt better.

Climax was Starscream moaning brokenly into his neck, holding him so tight that it felt like heartbreak. It was Starscream kissing him passionately as Skyfire reached his own peak, Starscream’s touch rhythmic and steady, and he could feel Starscream’s smile against his derma as he shook, Starscream’s frame keeping him upright.

It was easy to forget their arrangement, as they traded kisses, awash with the spark-deep contentment of overload. Starscream eventually remembered, of course, pulling away from Skyfire’s mouth with an almost stupid look on his face, before apparently coming to his senses and shaking the haze of making out away.

“Okay,” he said, letting Skyfire go, “Okay.”

All Skyfire wanted to do was kiss him again, but he kept his distance, feeling a little drunk himself. He had promised. This was temporary. “Okay,” he agreed, and stood up straighter, retracting whatever was necessary.

“Look,” Starscream took a few steps backward, putting quite some space between them, “Maybe…You haven’t brought anyone here. Correct? Will you ever, in the future?”

Skyfire shook his head, trying not to focus on the transfluid staining Starscream’s plating, “No. I like having this place to myself.”

Starscream smirked a little, before assuming a neutral expression, “Maybe we can do this again. If you want.”

“I do want.”

“Okay. It’s nothing personal, it’s just. I like shuttles.”

“And I like fliers. With your color scheme, especially.”

This was bordering on silly. Starscream was smiling again, and this was all so unnecessary for Skyfire, but if this was what would let him keep seeing Starscream, then he’d go along with it. Starscream looked away eventually, a new sort of determination in his optics, “I should go. To a stream somewhere, then back to base. So. I’ll see you around.”

Silly, and Skyfire was probably even worse, lovesick and giddy and hurting, “Can I kiss you goodbye?”

Starscream almost said yes, Skyfire could _see_ it in his posture, but his Star always had to make things frustrating for the both of them. Wasn’t that always his way? “Maybe next time,” Starscream said nonchalantly, and walked to the mouth of the cave, “Don’t get killed in battle or anything. It would be highly inconvenient.”

He transformed, and flew off.

Skyfire stood there, watching the smoke trail of Starscream’s departure till it dissipated into nothing. Millions of stellar cycles, and still he was in love with a perfect, terrible mess. But it was better than nothing. He didn’t want to live without at least the promise of seeing Starscream again.

It was good enough.


End file.
